1. |
Dark Chocolate
03:43
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A'ight y'all, I know like, Valentine's Day is almost over.
Singles Awareness day or whatever the hell you wanna call it
But, this song needed to be made
And I just want to share it with you, a'ight
Yo
Roses are colorful, Violets are too
Happy Valentines Day, I send my love to you
Whether you're single, dating or some kind of married
This is one holiday that's universally scary
Whether you're awkward as hell with everybody you know
Or at your best with a crowd like Nelson Lugo
Even if you're just a dick like musicnerdanimals
Love burns so hot that my heart could light candles
No hate shown, no surprise blown
Pressin B to Jump and claim love's home
For you, luv, I'd abdicate the top spot
Wanna give a hoof-bump to Lady Klocksentrot
No one rocks it raw like the Illest of Gills
Just like no one loves eatin like the Fridgest of Bills
Found a gift for PovertyMan: A shiny gold pan
And I whippoored in the wind just for you Old Man
I love you all, Happy Valentines Day
JolliLungsYou is well on its way
Oh, it's coming and there's no way to stop it
So just come here and get some dark chocolate
I love you all, almost as much as Old Bay
Cuz I Old Bay Err'thang, but y'all are ok
I'll be your plug if you be my socket
Come over here and get some dark chocolate
How can I convince you that I'm a real keeper?
Lay bars on your ears like a better poetic teacher?
Shower you with warmth like a good space heater?
Do lines off your ass as if I was beaker?
How about I just be Jolli? That should be enough
Don't like the way I love? Tough.
I love StarF, the way he raps, and Mailbox
And I gotta give Big Damn Heroes mad props
Even if Tyler's in love with the Golden Girls
And mcBrew loves pizza more than he loves the world
1-Up, I'm gonna finally use that beat you gave me
Flood the chomp rock caves with a voice like gravy
Gonna win the Black Man Voice-Off against Ohm-I
Get the treats from TYT, and an apple pie
What, I love Pie. Shut up.
And I'll finally get sh0e that KFC Cup
Praise the Lampedgod, it's Valentines Day
Gonna shoot for the moon, and fly away
Spreadin Jolli-style love all over from my rocket
Just sayin, c'mere and get some dark chocolate
Dynamo Dash called me a Champion
Cuz I got mad rhymes like a Stampion
I keep my love for Wisconsin in my left pocket
Come on over, y'all need to get some dark chocolate
I love you Mom, hope you're doin just fine
I love you Toast, for at Science, you shine
I love you Milt, you're my brother in Prime
I love you Dad, though we've not talked in some time
I love you Raslin, you're the hottest girl in nerdcore
I love you Wreckshin, you've the greatest beard in birdcore
I love you Favorite Husband and Favorite Wife
Klopfenpop, look, I'm rhymin wife with life and strife
Number3, tell ya sis she needs to holla
And tell her I'd never ever fail to call her
I love you Watts, Stiborge, AlphaRiff and Yuki
Bea B, Mags, Minnie, Mary, Stella, and Lucy
Quartz Relic, Tye Fighter and Lo Tech, What of it
RPG-Unit, Bill Beats, and C0splay, you muppet
Rulebook, Clifford, and all of SCR, present and past
Josh Crow, Trista, Abby, and White Girl Ass
Holy Hera, Batman, it's Valentines Day
So I'm sharing love in a Jolli-ful way
I love the Emerald Empire, and all those adjacent
Those who want more than nerdcore, and all those complacent
All my friends out there who are pounding pavement
Lady V, and Nova, and all y'all in the basement
There's not enough room for us all to play Bop-It
So bring yourself over here and get some dark chocolate
Oh my God, Schaffer, I just think you're the hottest
Every time I see you, you're workin it, you got it
And Rachel Fishel, I love you, don't you ever doubt it
And whoremoans, I'm your biggest fan, not afraid to shout it
Philly, I love you, but stop talkin bout shit
And niik's girlfriend, Hi, I'm Jollimus.
If I missed you, don't worry, I still love you man
Beaker, share this with Dan. I love you Dan!
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2. |
L.I.O.N
02:44
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Alright, so, my Valentine's Day track is like, really late this year.
I should prolly start earlier next time.
Let's go back to the 14th of February, things are lookin kinda scary
People beatin' down doors for a last minute confectionary
Will I join the fun? Hell, I don't know
Single on this day twenty eight years in a row
I don't appreciate it. It really ain't a good feelin
And I'm workin hard to get this hole in me healin
Pain leaves me reelin'. And I wish it would stop
But it enver ends, whether I like it or not
Single livin? I'll just say I ain't a fan
See, this year, I got me a plan
Get some nice clothes, take a hot shower
Grab some Dark Chocolate and flowers
Then I'm gonna go find me a white girl
Tell her things to make her live in my world
And once she's there, will she leave? No, enver ever
And she'll love me forever
Girl, don't be like that, I just want you to love me
Give the right gifts, so you'll hold no one above me
Rain or shine, I'll always be there for you honey
I might be short on moneydollars, but I'm very loving
I'm tha Jekyll, don't make me show you my Hyde
Cuz if ya hide, ain't no one gonna be happy tonight
Don't even care if you don't think that I'm hot
Cuz you're my valentine, girl, whether you like it or not
Step outside to start my search and the weather's bitter
Whose idea was it to put this day in the middle of winter?
Grab a coat, find a scarf, don a hat and gloves
On a quest to find my unfound love
Search bars, hit the mall, scour tha stores
Until I find the one that I simply adore
Hit her over tha head with my trademark charm
Keep up tha compliments, kill tha smarm
She'll go out with me, cuz I'm extremely loveable
And when I'm nice and clean, I'm supremely huggable
And I'm a muggle yo, no wizardry here
Not negging you girl, there's no need to fear
I'm polite, sincere, courteous, and sane
I won't play games just to find ya name
I'll just say life ain't always what it seems
Cuz you could say that of tha crop, I'm tha fuckin cream
Girl, don't be like that, I just want you to love me
Give the right gifts, so you'll hold no one above me
Rain or shine, I'll always be there for you honey
I might be short on moneydollars, but I'm very loving
I'm tha Jekyll, don't make me show you my Hyde
Cuz if ya hide, ain't no one gonna be happy tonight
Don't even care if you don't think that I'm hot
Cuz you're my valentine, girl, whether you like it or not
You're a white girl, and you want you some Jollimus
I'm Jollimus, and my love for you is bottomless
It looms over you like an ominous obelisk
Blows air in your eyes, like a testing optometrist
If you bring hatred, my love will demolish it
Think you can run, but it's the opposite
Love knows no bounds, takes off like a shot
Cuz you're my valentine, girl, whether you like it or not
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3. |
Our Love Is
04:39
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Our love is a story girl, and you're tha main character
When I outline perfection, you're my parameters
You've a glorious laugh. You know how to sing
And you speak positively when you're talkin bout me
I could spend my whole life lost within your eyes
And never try to force my way between your thighs
Someone tells you they're tha greatest, well I know you're greater
Cuz our love is a story girl, and I'm tha narrator
Opening sequence: A starry winter night
You turn left at tha gate as you get off a flight
Collect your luggage, catch a cab, go to your hotel
Take a bubble bath cuz you weren't feelin well
Call me up talkin bout how you think I'm a creep
Get yourself worked up, and then you fall asleep
The next morning, you're greetin tha dawn
Makin sure I'm not what your mind is on
Wanderin thru my city, your excitement is bottomless
Takin pictures of museums and the Washington Monument
In your head, we're nothin but arguments
But by lunch, you find yourself hollin @ Jollimus
Was it accidental? Was it by design?
Doesn't matter cuz you hit me up and we got time
So c'mon girl, take another chance with me
And we'll do what comes to us naturally
Our love is a pizza girl, and you're the dough
You provide stability, like a kitchen flo'
Your beauty's tha sauce, our happiness is tha cheese
So in this analogy, my aim is to please
Baked to perfection inside heated stone
Way too big for one person alone
Delivered directly to our summer cottage
Cuz our love is a pizza girl, and I am tha sausage
See, you're tha dough, a foundation on which to build
A task at which you'll find I'm impeccably skilled
You're tha sauciest maiden, with beauty incomparable
We fit together better than I thought was imaginable
Pepperoni's our joy, onions are our sadness
Anchovies are our long descent into madness
And that's why we avoid them, plus, they're gross
Bacon's what we like, but not love, the most
Pineapple's all the fucks that we don't give
And olives are the fights we have as we live
Baked together so nobody can stop us
Just lemme know that I'm still your favorite topping
C'mon babe, you're the one that I knead
I'll stuff ya crust girl, if you know what I mean
Every date we have, people ask what time it is
And I'm like "Don't you know? It's pizza time, bitches"
Our love's Jurassic Park girl, and you're a raptor
No doubt in your mind, I'm tha one you're after
Huntin with ya pack, ya single me out
No time for me to even get off a shout
Drag me back to your place, cuz a winner is you
And you light some candles, it's a dinner for two
Afterwards, we have loud angry sex
Cuz our love's Jurassic Park girl, and I'm T. Rex
Millions of years ago, our kind ruled tha earth
But neither of us had a natural birth
Crafted in a lab, by a team of scientists
And you know what, I ain't buying this
Made for a zoo, ain't that some shit?
Some stupid fat guy brought us bliss
He destroyed the barriers keeping us apart
And allowed me to eat my way into your heart
I followed some lights, tried to snag a bouquet
But they cut on tha jeep and drove away
You ate tha token off screen, you made tha white people scream
And jumped straight in my life looking like a dream
In the end, we had a great big fight
While those losers ran off into tha night
But I still love you girl, you're tha best
Cuz nothing beats loud angry dino sex
Our love is tha navy girl, and you're a carrier
You got hornets and tomcats, and a harrier
With a battle group protecting you from enemies
And a nuclear engine, no need to catch a breeze
There's enough force here to do as we please
So we project democracy across tha seven seas
But if we go to war, we won't hide, even a bit
Cuz our love is tha navy girl, and I'm a frigate
Our love is an anime, you're the magical girl
Sexy costume change and you're protecting tha world
When you're working, I like to be a pest
Sometimes we fight in public just for tha makeup sex
You never defeat me, I just go home
And you follow quick, so I'm never alone
Even in tha fight scenes, I be chilling
Cuz our love is an anime, and I'm tha villain
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4. |
Another Valentine's Day
03:19
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Another Valentine's Day, another Valentine's song
Proclaim my love for white girls, but don't get me wrong
I ain't tryna be rude, I'm just tryna tell you
That my inclination leans caucasian
No need for hatin', I'm just sayin what's true
And if you take offense, girl, we could be friends, I guess
And I'll move on. But if you wanna see this through
Then we gotta talk about your Valentine's gift
Flowers are played out, that's my official decree
And I'm the only Dark Chocolate you'll need
And tho it may be shiny, I won't get you a ring
Or other jewelry, tho it may be fit for a queen
I'll take you out and get you a big slice
Of the best pie you'll ever have in your life
Yeah, I'm talkin' pizza, not apple or peach
Won't leave you sittin' there askin' me why
Pizza is life, comin' straight out tha oven
Don't care what you say, no one and nothing above it
If you disrespect pizza, there can be no us
Never said I didn't love you, don't cause a fuss
Pizza is love, even good when it's cold
And I'll share mine with you even when we get old
We like what we like, and in that, we're free
But if you get pizza wit pineapple, don't share it wit me
I once spoke of love in terms of tha pizza
If I remember correctly, our happiness is the cheese
And you're tha dough cuz you provide stability
And above all else, you're the one that I knead
And I'm tha sausage, or whatever's your favorite topping
Unless it's pineapple or anchovies
Damn, girl, don't put that on me
Otherwise, my love might show signs of stopping
I mean, you like what you like, and that's all right
And me, I disappear into the night
You look around and you can't see I'm right here
But I'm filling you with love instead of fear
Cuz you know that I'm tha Jolli Mean Giant
I'm so loveable, there's no need to be frightened
Get there at quarter of to pick you up at eight
You're so beautiful, girl, I could never be late
Pizza is life, comin' straight out tha oven
Don't care what you say, no one and nothing above it
If you disrespect pizza, there can be no us
Never said I didn't love you, don't cause a fuss
Pizza is love, even good when it's cold
And I'll share mine with you even when we get old
We like what we like, and in that, we're free
But if you get pizza wit pineapple, don't share it wit me
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Pepperoni's great, and so are you
Usin basic rhymes to get your attention
Bein Jollimus so you'll stick around
F'real, luv, I'm just tryna be the right man
For you and me, I'll dress like I'm a white man
I'll buy you what you want if I can afford it
And I'll enver let you feel like I'm one to avoid
Off no bullshit tho, about the pineapples
I don't think they belong on pizza
But if want 'em, that's your prerogative
I won't eat that with you tho, cuz it's gross
Please don't let that be what keeps us apart
I'm tryna insinuate myself in your heart
But if you want me to, I'll go away
'til another Valentine's song, another Valentine's Day
Pizza is life, comin' straight out tha oven
Don't care what you say, no one and nothing above it
If you disrespect pizza, there can be no us
Never said I didn't love you, don't cause a fuss
Pizza is love, even good when it's cold
And I'll share mine with you even when we get old
We like what we like, and in that, we're free
But if you get pizza wit pineapple, don't share it wit me
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5. |
Bourbon In My Tea
03:41
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Bourbon in my tea, while snow falls all around me
I see you there white girl, your beauty is astoundin
Heart poundin, plus my mind is racing
Lookin forward to tha trial that I'll be facin
Gotta find a way to introduce myself
Without lookin like a stock nigga off tha shelf
Maybe I'll start with a gentle smile
Drop a hint I'll be here a while
Chat you up whene'er I see you round
Never follow you tho, I ain't stalkin you down
I'm just talkin you round to tha Jollimus way
If you let me love you, won't let you get away
You won't be mine, I'll be yours, for all that entails
Believe me girl, I'd follow dat ass ta hell
You won't be fine, you'll be glorious, like Bobby Roode
And you'll get everywhere with me with that attitude
Bourbon in my tea, I can feel your love girl
When you look at me, I know that you're my world
Bourbon in my cup, I love makin you happy
Lemme know wassup if this is gettin too sappy
Bourbon in my girl, I know you feelin good
Cuz you shoutin bout our love to the whole neighborhood
Bourbon in my heart, but don't get me wrong
Valentine's from the start in this bourbon song
Vodka in my tea cuz I ran outta bourbon
The love I give you girl, well, you deserve it
I'll be that nigga you need and that nigga you want
Cuz I'm that nigga you got and I ain't boutta front
I might not make as many moneydollars as you
But I make up for it just bein incredibly cool
Rock steady too, insinuate myself in your heart
Cuz, girl, you been holdin mine from tha start
Like you was Mola Ram without the creepy ritual
To think I wouldn't love you is hella risible
My love is visible, like an aura that glows
And every time I'm with you, it noticeably grows
Only downside's in the night I don't disappear
You look around and you can see I'm right here.
I can't be mad, cuz it's worth your lovin
Remember pizza is life, comin straight out tha oven
Bourbon in my tea, I can feel your love girl
When you look at me, I know that you're my world
Bourbon in my cup, I love makin you happy
Lemme know wassup if this is gettin too sappy
Bourbon in my girl, I know you feelin good
Cuz you shoutin bout our love to the whole neighborhood
Bourbon in my heart, but don't get me wrong
Valentine's from the start in this bourbon song
I was gonna write a third verse, but I'm short on time
So have some classic JolliValentine's rhymes
I love you girl, almost as much as Old Bay
Cuz I Old Bay Err'thang, but you're pretty ok
I'll be your plug if you be my socket
Come over here and get you some dark chocolate
Don't even care if you don't think that I'm hot
Cuz you're my valentine, girl, whether you like it or not
Our love is an anime, you're the magical girl
Sexy costume change and you're protecting tha world
When you're working, I like to be a pest
Sometimes we fight in public just for tha makeup sex
You never defeat me, I just go home
And you follow real quick, so I'm never alone
Even in tha fight scenes, I be chilling
Cuz our love is an anime, and I'm tha villain
Bourbon in my tea, I can feel your love girl
When you look at me, I know that you're my world
Bourbon in my cup, I love makin you happy
Lemme know wassup if this is gettin too sappy
Bourbon in my girl, I know you feelin good
Cuz you shoutin bout our love to the whole neighborhood
Bourbon in my heart, but don't get me wrong
Valentine's from the start in this bourbon song
Bourbon in my tea, I can feel your love girl
When you look at me, I know that you're my world
Bourbon in my cup, I love makin you happy
Lemme know wassup if this is gettin too sappy
Bourbon in my girl, I know you feelin good
Cuz you shoutin bout our love to the whole neighborhood
Bourbon in my heart, but don't get me wrong
Bourbon from the start in this Valentine's song
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